Wednesday, April 09, 2008
have u ever felt like shit? ;
have u ever felt like nothing ever goes ur way? ;
have u ever felt like uve done the biggest mistake, but is clueless of what it is? ;
have u ever felt like crying, but theres just no tears that can be shed? ;
have u ever felt like the whole world is against u? ;
have u ever felt like u love that someone deeply, but everytime u ask urself what is it that make u love them, u cant answer?
today wasnt a great day for me. thanks to that someone. and people around wasnt being of much help also. at times, they even made it worst. had a tiff with him yesterday. over the littlest thing anyone can ever think of. oh people, u shud know that im not that kinda person who enlarges tiny stuffs. so yeah, obviously it was him. =/
i mean, i understand, who wouldnt be mad or upset to know that some schmate of ures saying something bad about urself. right? i understand. but THERES NO REASON to wanting to know that particular person's name, and find him. even if u just wna talk things out with him. what more bash him up. its totally unnecessary laa kan. its just a comment that he made, which he thinks of you. why must u get all so fucked up over THAT?? he was just speaking his mind. tu dier nyer pasal la kan aper dier nk ckp! small things like these u cant accept, i wonder what would happen to the world if u find out theres one whole company dislikes u..
simply said, im just disappointed. i thought he was someone who really had the high patience, just like amina. and u used to identify urself as amina's boy version, and me being shah's girl version. but i think now ur way worser than shah. even shah doesnt get so tight up like u do when he hears people talked stuffs about him. darn, he would get angry of course. but heck am i sure he wont go to that extent to bashing them up. why must u get so fucked up over THAT??
said u loved me, but u cant even forgive me for this mistake that ive done. in fact, i dont even think what i did was a mistake laa kan. its the truth. and u know that i already knew. so, WHY MUST U GET SO FUCKED UP OVER THAT?? its not like as if im leaving u, after hearing what u were like back then kan. if thats the case, u wna bomb the whole world pon, understood laa. but that thought NEVER crossed my mind. to me, u arent the person that someone told me about. and i knew u were like that back then. but i also knew that ur trying to change. so, WHY MUST U GET SO FUCKED UP OVER THAT??
sumpah i cant understand whats going on through ur mind. if this really is eating ur heart out, then perhaps we should go our separate ways laa. is that what u want?? cos i know for myself, that thats not what i want. its not even that close to 12may, and we're already in this state. now i really know how amina feels when she has a conflict with shah. cos in this situation, its more like im amina, and ur shah. totally unreasonable.
ive apologized for making u angry. ive tried talking things out nicely, and not, with you. ive tried compromising with you. ive tried everything i could to make it better for us. but u chose to go the way u want it to be. u chose not to forgive me. u chose to not talk things out nicely with me. and u chose not to compromise with me either. so basically, what we have in store for us in future, is what u chose.
* It's so unbelievable,
And I don't want to let it go,
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.
I feel like you've always been,
Forever a part of me.
And it's so unbelievable to finally be in love,
Somewhere I'd never thought I'd be.
When I think of what I have,
and this chance I nearly lost,
I cant help but break down, and cry.
baby, you're the best part of my day.
5:56 PM
