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Friday, April 18, 2008



the week was OKAYY for me. as usual uhh. but basically, i could say its both fun and dull. fun in the sense that i could spend time with certain people alot. and dull, in the sense that, nothing actually goes my way at the end of the day.

ikah and i, have been going thru somewhat same situations since last week. hey, now then i realise, it has been one week eh ikah? and nothing gets better for us aye.. tskk. our lives goes on like a roller coaster. we could be jumping for joy, rolling on the floor laughing at stupid jokes people make or do. but at a split second, we could also break down and cry or go emo and stuffs.

ikah, know what? i really need u right now. i need a hug seh ikaahh. i know u do too. (: id always be there for you okay dear? goes to you too aminnie.
i feel so confused with what been going on. it suck u know, this things happening to me, at this point of time of the year. tskk.

its been 2 weeks since we've last met, and 10days that we've been in never-ending-arguements. nothing gets better for us, or me. idk about you. thats the first prob. 2ndly, 2 days ago, i just officially broke someone's heart, i guess. ive known him for like what, 7 months now? yeahh. and he told me, 2 days ago, that hes backing off, cos he sees that i have a nice life with the other guy. -.- being in never ending arguements are nice to u eyy.. ? 3rdly, another one just somewhat confessed to me that he liked me, and is starting to love me. =/

i know whats in ur head, "mampos. rabak siakk miraa! giler pe!"
but what can i do? its not like im the one who attracts them to me. i mean, they're the one who are attracted to me. get it? i cannot stop someone from liking me, or loving me. i tried my best to divide my time for all 3, but im just a human. i make mistakes, and i tend to forget about the other when im with another. shitman, i sound like a toot. i swear all this is not what i want.

nazrul, im sorry for what happened to us. and im sorry ive neglected u. but i guess the love wasnt there animre. and i guess uve guessed my msn nick, "i really dont feel the way i once felt about you.", was referring to you. im really sorry. ur in poly now, so i guess its not too late to start anew life? theres many girls who are waayy better than me out there, esp in NP, like what my cousin, "ader ramai hot chicks!" kan nabil kan?? suke dier.. hahaha. i want us to remained as just goodfriends, but i guess ur not in favour of that idea? idk laa, up to you. but to me, being my goodfriend is actually better than being my bf. :D cos i treat my friends better than my bf. get it? friends always comes first maa. and i prioritise friends first. so yeahh. its okay if u dont wna be my friend even. ur lost, not exactly mine. =/


okayokay, so yeah. basically, with all thats happening to me, all at one period of time. i cannot think properly, and i cannot make wise decisions at this point of time. and darn it, 12may is not far away. gaahhh! i know i promised, but can we push the date forward? please? i really got so many things on my head now, i really cannot think straight. and i wouldnt wna be making a mistake in my decisions. i want the best for us, whoever it is, and for me. this suck right, people? tskk. :(

dah laaa. enough is enough laa. i dont want to think about it animre. this arguements, confessions and heart-breaking stuffs are making me soooo sick and tired of everything. i dont even know if i wna end it ALL. i dont know, i really dont. =/ and you, if u cant keep ur mouth shut, then dont expect me to pour out to u animre abt in of my stuffs. after telling u, u went and confront him. thanks eh! bodoh pe sehh. tskk, binget laa! ur not the only one that i have to think about! theres other two, now one. and ive got school, mom, parents, family to think about! ur not my only problem, u paham takk??!?!?! tsskkk!

bye uhh people.
take care.
and dont mind if u have difficulties trying to reach me, cos now, im off-ing my phone once in a while, or keep it to silent mode. idk, i just feel like needing some time alone. but a great listening ear at the same time. idk laaa. see how confused i am? i dont even know what im talking. tskk.

* anw, nazrul, i dedicate "say goodbye, by chris brown" to you. ahaha, mira bustard siakk. orang dah sedih2, patah hati, maseh nk dedicate2. :p siak betol. =/ im sorry once again.


baby, you're the best part of my day. 11:45 PM